My own opinion ~

Hola! ♥

I wanted to approach a topic just once, about gamer girls. That's the thing, when I start making Youtube videos in June 2014, I don't want to talk about this subject in a video, because it's like beating a dead horse (excuse the expression).

What I think about gamer girls is that, a true gamer female should not be on Call of Duty and make her clan tag; love, hope, kiss, girl, cute or anything like that. I have to admit, I did that quite often when I was younger, but I realized how ridiculous that is. Also, gamer girls don't flirt with everyone. That's the thing, it's okay to have a bunch of guy friends and be a flirt as a person, but don't lead people on. Make your intentions clear.

And don't even get me started with the pictures of a girl licking a controller or taking a picture with a console that isn't even on, and putting hastags like, #girlgamer and so on.

Why do men have to know you're a girl? Yes, my username is sort of girly, but I'm allowed to choose what I like, as is other females. But my clan tag won't be something pointless. If I'm not in a clan, I won't have a clan tag.

When I speak on the mic on Call of Duty, I usually am swearing. If a guy asks me if I'm a woman or not, I'd usually ignore it, or give a sarcastic answer. Do they ask other men if they're men? Doubtful. When I play League of Legends and someone asks me if I'm a girl, I give a sarcastic answer or ask them why.

Does it matter if I'm a woman? I'm not having sex with you over the headset or PC. And I don't accept invites from anyone unless they did particularly well the last game and I notice.

Those 'girl gamers' make women look bad. My own advice to every female out there, is to relax and just play. You don't need to seek attention from strangers. Constantly giggling over the mic is annoying to most guys anyway.

You can have a pink controller, headset, or whatever, it's fine. Try to be like a guy, not saying not to be yourself, but consider what assumptions people will make about you, just because you're a woman. So if you'd like to avoid those, have respect for yourself. Don't send pictures of yourself to anyone you don't personally know or haven't know for an extended amount of time.

Don't let any guys pressure you into anything. You can be girly without acting like an attention seeking airhead. I think it's much sexier with a girl who relaxes during a game (not exactly acting like a dude) and dresses well (not slutty).

Most girls found a way to dress slutty without seeming like an attention seeker, which is cosplaying. No one chooses Samus with her armor on, or Ashe, only characters that have her tits pronounced or hanging out of the outfit.

If you're going to cosplay, at least be open minded to the Marvel or DC characters or whatever, who aren't that attractive, but are well known.

I'm sick of seeing Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Miss Fortune and so on. Why not Zatana? (the above picture) Or someone like that who actually wears clothing?

But end of rant ~ I have a New Years party to go to soon and I need money before 2014. which is tomorrow :)

Moving back down ~

Hola! ♥

Yesterday wasn't anything in particular happening, I went to work, hardly made anything and watched this Korean drama movie about this guy who at age 30 realized he had a daughter named Joon. He treated her like (excuse my language) shit. She was the sweetest, cutest little angel and he did not show any compassion or affection for her. It was painful to watch, really, because I just felt like punching him :p

*SPOILER ALERT* She ended up dying of cancer at the end and the last thing she told him was that she loved him, but not once did he say it to her. It made me cry repeatedly throughout the whole movie.

I have to move out of this house in about 4 days, which is sort of depressing, really, but oh well ~ I will just go back to my old house. At least then, I can play League and come in the house whenever I please without worrying about if I'll be locked out or not. I just need a bed.

I'm so hungry at the moment and I decided to take a day off work today, because tomorrow, I probably have to do a double, because we have a New Years party. The Christmas party was nice, since I earned a good amount of money. So hopefully it's the same here :)

This is what I want right now, I'm muy hambrienta ♥ Going to go eat now ^.^

Overworking ~ oh no!

Hola! ♥

Yesterday, I did a double shift at work and ended up leaving around 1am ~ I had to pay my cousin back for all of the food I bought before we were about to watch Insidious 2. Which reminds me. It SUCKS that the dvd stopped working, because I really really wanted to see that movie. It's like, I know I'll be scared, and I wanted to watch it anyway :/

I need to save money for my Ebay things ~ I spend most of my money on that day out >.> So, I didn't have enough for the stuff I wanted :/

Well, it was fun, so I don't regret it :)

I think I'm obsessed with having lighter skin. As a Panamanian, our skin is muy oscuro naturally, like a tan. And well, I wanted lighter skin, but to be honest, I've been really slacking off >.<

But no longer! I shall get the money I need for my Ebay things and I will buy my health products! The girls wanted to play dress up with me yesterday, by putting tons of makeup on me. I wish I had more makeup wipes, because there's still black eyeliner on my eyelids ~

I want a new PS3. I sold my old one and now I want a new one, with a pink controller and a pink skin for it ♥

I know I'll wait until I don't live with Raymond anymore, because seeing as how I made his ps3 overheat, it'd be pretty rude for me to buy myself one without having had replaced his.

Anyway, I need my skin products, so I can get back on track :D

I noticed that every girl at work has children, and they refer to me as 'Minnie Mouse' and 'the baby', because I'm almost the youngest, next to that girl Tiffany that I don't like. I don't want children, I don't think and if I ever do, it's going to be when I'm really really old. Having children limits your freedom and messes up your body.

Most fun I had in a while ~

Hola! ♥

I had a lot of fun yesterday, for the first time in a long time :) Me, my aunt, her husband and my favorite cousin went to the movies and an all you can eat buffet ~ it was so yummy, but we got there too late, so I didn't get a chance to take pictures :( Only my aunt took one:

She chose foods she already usually eats (-.-) While I chose crawdads, clams, oyster, shrimp, buffalo wings, mushrooms and things like that. My cousin got sushi and other Chinese foods. I wish I could have taken a picture of the cheesecake I was eating, it was sooo delicious, but I was sooo full ~

We went to the AMC next, after checking out clothing I'm going to buy soon. My cousin tried this thing called 'The Hurricane', but it was sadly disappointing, and we laughed so much. Maybe it was meant to make us laugh?

It was 22 minutes of commercials at the theaters, like I thought:

Whatever movie this was, I want to watch it, it looked awesome >.> We went to see 'A Madea Christmas,' and we knew it'd be funny and it was ~ it was a Tyler Perry movie, so I knew it was trying to teach you something, this time it was about racism and how wrong it is. Like I'm not already aware. As a Panamanian, I have not quite experienced racism, (except a bit as a child), but now, I wouldn't react badly if it happened, I'd just pity the small minded person.

Although the movie said, 'PG13', there was a lot of sexual references ~ maybe it'd go over the children's heads?

My popcorn, on my lap. I didn't even eat it, I was full from the buffet and I put too much butter in it >.> It cost $6, so I did waste my money a bit :o

Overall, it was fun. We played with the driving simulator and my cousin caught candy in his mouth ~ this is what I needed, to relax :) Hopefully, I can be happy and focused now to get my Ebay things and my Invisalign ♥ I only have 5 or so days left for both :3

Transformation movies, ah ~

Hola! ♥

I love Netflix :3 It's weird because I don't usually like watching television ~ but there is so many new things to watch on Netflix. I love this movie called, '200 lbs beauty.' In fact, I love Korean dramas the most. I mean, I wish they came in Spanish, but I won't complain, the shows and movies are so interesting to me, and I think Playful Kiss got me into it :)

I haven't paid for my subscription for this month, but it's pointless for now since I broke the ps3 :p So, I won't pay for it until I get my own apartment or until I move out of this house.

I think I'd like to finish watching 'The Secret Life of an American Teenager,' but I'm more excited to see some more K-dramas.

I think what I hated about this movie is how the guy was so rude to her when she was fat and would talk mean about her behind her back, but as soon as she's thin, he wants her. And she takes him back. I would've told him to go jump off a bridge and get eaten by a shark.

I think, once I get my own apartment, that I'll start playing Hanako Games again ~ they always entertained me for a long time :3 And it's nice seeing what outcome you may get :)

And of course, I'll be playing League. I miss playing League so much, it passed the time D:

Caged Heart ~

Merry Christmas! ♥

I have to admit, I'm not the happiest person today ~ I keep overthinking and being impatient about everyday life. I want to hurry and get my own apartment and my life started :/ Everyone is having fun and relaxing and I'm just working lots and just saving money.

But I know I have to be patient, although I feel a bit lonely, to be honest. But it's okay, because by June 2014, I will have everything together. Maybe I should get another Turtle, and then I won't feel this way ;D

I really wish I could detach my heart from my body for a limited amount of time, so that I can't fall in love with anyone for a long LONG time ~ it'd make me much more relaxed, because I can't escape the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic and I basically am in love with love :p It really sucks, because the old me would fall in love with a guy I barely know and create this fairytale love story inside of my head and well, not the new me.

I won't say 'I love you' to a guy until I'm good and ready (even if he says it first) and I also will be very picky and specific with who I actually want to be with. I choose guys who have small pieces of what I want, but I think after I love myself first, I will look for the guy with all of the qualities I want.

There's my perfect guy above xD But honestly, the qualities I want are (yes, I'm listing them all).

- Brutally honest
- Very intelligent
- A geek
- Plays video games
- Green or blue eyes
- Treats me like a princess
- Doesn't cry often
- Older than me by at least 2 years
- Lets me have my space
- Has a decent sized penis
- Loves me for me
- Willing to spoil me with gifts
- Taller than me
- Either white or asian
- Has an accent (optional, but preferred)
- Very affectionate
- Has a decent amount of friends as to not smother me
- Doesn't hit or yell at females
- A gentleman
- Respects me
- Accepts my past
- Has good grammar (optional, still preferred)
- Willing to take things slowly
- Defends me
- Makes me feel protected
- Not religious

And that is all I want. I'm still not even close to ready for a boyfriend, but it's nice to get that list out there before I get one, so I can make sure the guy fits.

League of Weirdos ~

Hello! ♥

Yesterday, I played Dance central with my cousins :) I loved it ~ I remember the moves pretty well, but my bonnet kept sliding over my eyes, so I couldn't see very well and I still won ;) My favorite character is Glitch ~ he is sooo cute! I wouldn't mind having an asian boyfriend in the late future x)

I also went to work ~ made an okay amount >.> I really miss playing League :/ I know I'm making a new account and all, and I want to start as soon as possible ~ and I think I'll go back to speaking my native language (Spanish). Trying to learn French saddens me, it makes me think of my ex and I'm trying to forget and abandon all feelings for him :p

I'm going to Barnes and Noble again before work, I bet if I showed up earlier to work, I would have earned more money than I did ~ so I'm showing up much earlier today :) I think I'm ready to start working as a nurse soon and put my degree to some use ♥

On weight gaining, I dropped back down to 120lbs D: I guess I have to try harder on gaining weight :I

I See The Light ~

Hello! ♥

Yesterday was fairly eventful, I went downtown for a little fun with my cousins ~ I got a new naval piercing ring and some solution for my contacts (finally!) It came with a really cute teal case for the contacts :) We ate and went to Barnes and Noble, and I starting reading this really good book called, 'The Heretic Queen.' So I bought it, the first book I've ever bought for myself!

Hopefully this first book is the start of a new bookshelf for my first apartment ~.~ I also bought a bunch of food and we sat on the floor full of blankets and watched 'The Conjuring'. I have to admit, it was a bit scary ~ not as much as I thought it would be, BUT I'm scared of almost every scary movie I've seen, so it's probably going to give me nightmares for a little while >.> Well, I have cheesecake left from yesterday and I got a new 2014 planner, so I'm going to get some food and go to work for the day shift ♥

Oh, and I watched Tangled yesterday as well! I cried so much, the soundtrack is beautiful, it's a wonder it's my first time actually seeing the movie :') I'm a true Disney Princess fanatic ;D

Ice Glimmer ~ Merry Early Christmas!

Bonjour!

I had a very nice time at work yesterday :) We had a really big Christmas party, with lots of food and music (as always) and all of the girls wore Santa hats ~ the girls were trying to get me drunk, even though I'm underage and the fact that I don't drink, even though, I imagine work is easier to get through when you're drunk. But oh well, I ran x)

Here's my hat:

We had a Secret Santa thing as well, but I didn't bring anyone any gifts because I didn't have the money for it.

Anyway, I made a nice amount of money, that I'm saving for my Invisalign ~ I've never been more serious about something, saving up for an exclusive goal :) I usually just buy every pretty thing I can get my hands on, but that's not good :) It's my Christmas gift to myself to get straight teeth ♥

I just wish I had taken some of the pizza and hot wings with me ;.; because now, I'm hungry, although I was extremely full yesterday ~ I hope today turns out to be a good day for me as well! Going to Barnes and Noble again in about 2 hours ♥

Gentle pale happiness ~

Bonjour!

I am currently saving up money for my Invisalign ~ I think straight teeth make a person look more beautiful than they already are. So, for myself, I think I deserve to have beautifully straight teeth! :) I would definitely smile more if I did have straight teeth like that. It'd show my dimples more, and well, I don't think I mind, really. I think I'd definitely would feel more confident with straight teeth :) That's my goal for the beginning of 2014, to have my money for my Invisalign (and actually get to get it if possible)

It just proves that having nearly perfect teeth makes a person look so much more appealing. I don't care about the cost, it's a lifetime thing that I never will lose, so it's worth it. And as a reward to myself after getting my teeth aligned, I'll get my teeth and gums bleached! ♥

After all, how can I be Aphrodite without a killer smile? ;)

The perfect skin, mind and body ~

Bonjour!

Nothing eventful happened yesterday, really :o I went to work only for a few hours because I wasn't earning anything. I have a lot of jumbled up plans on what I want to do for my future, but for the remainder of 2013, I just want to get these last few things done and relax and maybe watch some anime? I miss doing that at least. I prefer to watch 'Howl's Moving Castle', after all, it's one of my favorite animated movies.

I also want to get some reading done, so today, I'm going to go to Barnes and Noble. I was thinking about practicing my French, but that's not part of the meaning of 'relax'. In about an hour or so, I'll be on my way to Barnes and Noble.

I need to earn good money today at work! :3

I heard this new song called, 'Ma Boy,' and the minute I heard it, I knew it was a Korean song. I like it, it's catchy.

And last thing, I want to start using more natural products for my skin. My skin on my face is pretty blemish free somewhat. I just need to buy some more Maxi Peel. I like my skin with a slight tan, but any darker, I begin to freak out, and that's why my Kojie San is my best friend for skin products ~ I want smooth, scar and blemish free skin. And that's another goal for 2014. I sure am making a lot of goals :') But with all of this free time, why not?

Takes my mind off of anything stressful. I want to take better care of my skin and body so I can have the perfect healthy body that I've always wished for.

Cast into the dark alone ~

Bonjour ~ !

I just went through a rough breakup with my boyfriend. It was completely my fault for lying to him so much, but I did plan on telling him the truth when I met up with him. But it's too late now, he wants nothing to do with me.

I understand anyway and I don't blame him. Well, I experienced my first heartbreak :/ It's fine though, at least it happened while it's still 2013. Now we both can start our year of 2014 fresh. I never cried so much about a man in my whole life.

It still hurts; even now, but now I can focus on my career and begin to love myself completely on my own. I won't have any regrets; I absolutely refuse to. I can work more without worrying about someone waiting on me. I can give my heart again to someone one day; but for now, I don't want a boyfriend for a long time. Even after I get over him, I still don't want any men to be with me until I love myself and know who I am completely.

And when I finally have that man to spend the rest of my life with; I will be completely honest from the start.

And I'm still going to learn French, I may as well, with all of this free time I have now :)

I felt like Pucca an hour ago :c But I feel much better now that I have all of my goals in mind. I think maybe eating pizza (which is what I'm doing now) and watching Star Trek will make me feel much better ~ ♥

Danger of a Skirt? Dress? :o

Bonjour!

I have to admit, it's very difficult coming up with your own original style that actually fits you. I can't usually ask my boyfriend; nor my friends, because all they say to me is, 'You're thin, you can wear anything!' C'est ne pas vrai! I am stuck between wanting Lolita style (which wouldn't fit me, because I have tan skin and love to show skin), hipster style (which I'm actually leaning towards, because it can be a mixture of vintage and schoolgirl style), and gothic lolita (which is a no, now that I think of it. I don't see the 'dark' look working for me, I enjoy the color pink too much).

So I'm stuck looking online for what style will fit me because the clothes where I live are all urban and boring looking on me. And I'm a small woman, I need small sizes to fit my body perfectly. I hate having colored nails (unless they're pink) and I only prefer French tips for my nails at all times.

Well, I suppose I'm stuck looking online for a style that fits me >.> I did, in fact, like this outfit though:

The only thing I hate about hipster style is how people try to add a skull cap to it. Like eww. Non. Another thing I'm working on is gaining weight. When I stepped on the scale yesterday, it read that I was 123 lbs. Now I would be happy, but my cousin Brittney is 131 lbs. I want to be 135 lbs, and then I think I will be satisfied with my weight. I've heard peanut butter on wheat bread helps for healthy weight gain, but unfortunately, I'm allergic to any sort of nuts.

I can't decide if I want to dress like a princess, or if I want to dress in a femme fatale sort of way. Can I not dress like both? :)

I am my boyfriend's princess, so I think I can alternate between the two styles by simply wearing a dress that is in hipster style :)

Mon premier post ~ !

Bonjour, mon petit amis! This is my first post and I'm excited. I will update very often, of course. I want to start off my year of 2014 with being a new person I can be proud of and being the best woman I can be. I can't promise I will always be positive, but I certainly will try. My inspiration is 'Fairy Emily' who, in my opinion, has the perfect life, and I'm sure she worked hard for it.

And so will I. I need to start my journey in loving myself, letting myself be vulnerable in love with my boyfriend, and to accomplish all of my goals with hard work and dedication. And to not procrasinate, which is something I have a big problem with doing.

I'm currently learning French, since I'll be moving to France soon enough! I will be posting pictures of myself, things I like, games and so on. I'm lazy with updating, but I know if I can keep this up, I can do anything :) As I begin to learn more French, I will type more and more until I only type in French alone :) My first language is actually Spanish ♥

My race is Panamanian, before anyone asks. I'm not very photogenic, but it doesn't matter, I just mostly want to show off the clothes I buy for my vintage style I'm trying out ~ I feel like playing a game on Hanako Games, I love roleplaying games, especially one called Spirited Heart.

I always choose the demoness, and choose her to have this job so she can meet that cute, gruff demon man ♥